I’ve been putting off writing a post here for a long time, mostly because I didn’t know where to begin. Even right now, I sit here typing and deleting and typing and deleting and tempted to just close this up until tomorrow or six months from now. I had no idea the last time I wrote–back in March of 2014!–would be the beginning of a blogging hiatus. But so life goes. A few days earlier I had learned I was pregnant, and nine months later, our beautiful, healthy little girl arrived. Her name is Petra, which means ‘rock,’ a doctor helping out with the delivery reminded me moments after she was born. And indeed she lives up to her name and I’m excited to share stories about her. So first there was the emotional rollercoaster that is what I’ve learned is a typical Sofia pregnancy (no sickness, just plenty of mood swingy tears). Then there were all sorts of personal challenges, running after a toddler with a basketball belly, figuring out this juggling two kids thing, making hard career decisions, and just sheer exhaustion that got in the way and kept me away from my little corner of the internet. I’ve wanted to sit down to write so many times, but mostly I just “wrote” posts in my head while I folded laundry or made the bed and knew I’d eventually get back to my wordpress dashboard.
That time is now. I’ve struggled with what I should do here. Twice now my account was up for renewal and both times, I’ve thought “do I really bother and pay the $83.27 again?” or do I just get off my computer and live life and enjoy every bit of the present? And then there are the little voices on my shoulders telling me nobody reads these stories of mine. Or that I’m being self-indulgent. Or that if I have time and energy, I should just be catching up on work or cleaning or whatever else is frazzling me these days. But here’s the thing: writing makes me so happy (have you seen this article?), and happiness is a contagious thing, right? It’s not selfish to tend to my own happiness, yet I need to remind myself of that constantly. When I’m happy I’m a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, sibling, co-worker, stranger on the street, all of that. So where I might feel a bit of guilt for sitting in this messy room of mine, laundry piled up and in dire need of getting sorted and washed, and countless tasks that I should tend to (I’m talking to you, 15,451 photos in my library that need some serious editing down), writing–whether it’s a quick little bite, an intro to a recipe I’ve created, or a more thought-out essay–is my oxygen mask and it’s time to put it back on.
There was a time when I wanted this blog to be my stepping stone to getting a book deal (too late! look at the crazy talent in this book). I also wanted to inspire whoever landed here with all the good living/nutrition/life coachey bits I was excited to learn (I haven’t gone back to read my earlier posts, but if I recall correctly, some of that stuff was a bit preachy, right? If only I knew back then how much boxed mac & cheese I’d come to cook for my picky son). My favorite posts, though, were always the ones that involved stories and/or recipes I love. So going forward, that will be my focus, and it will be writing for the sake of writing and, in turn, happiness (and yes, some posterity too…because my kids might want my recipes and stories someday, right?). And if I can touch a soul or two, even better. And with that, let’s move on to the next incarnation of Brooklyn Baba, shall we?